Thank you for visiting the website every month.  Hope I make it
worth your while and I am open to any and all criticism and/or
your input for the site.  It is the site for the greatest class in
history, the class 1958, Bend Senior High school, Bend Oregon.
   Page last changed  5/01/18
                               May monthly issue

Man Gave Names To
All The Animals
Pine murmurs 2018

Just some day to day observation's.
Alright, the wedding photos that you
have been waiting for and .... paid a
great deal of money for.
                           Men Have Better Friends Than Women

    Friendship among Women:

    A woman didn't come home one night.  The next morning she told her husband that she
    had slept over at a friend's house.  

    The man called his wife's 10 best friends.  None of them knew anything about it.

    Friendship among Men:

    A man didn't come home one night.  The next morning he told his wife that he had slept
    over at a friend's house.  

    The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.  Eight confirmed that he had slept over,
    and two said he was still there.
And you ask
"how is the diet going"?

    1.   It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
    2.   I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
    3.   The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
    4.   A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
    5.   You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
    6.   If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
    7.   A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
    8.   A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
    9.   Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
    10.  Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
    11.  How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
    12.  Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
    13.  What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
    14.  Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
    15.  Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere.
    16.  What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
    17.  My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
    18.  What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
    19.  Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.
    20.  How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.
    21.  What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
    22.  What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
    23.  Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
    24.  Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
    25.  Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
    26.  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
    27.  I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
    28.  What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
    29.  How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
    30.  PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
    31.  Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.
    32.  Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.
    33.  Learn sign language, it’s very handy.
    34.  I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
    35.  You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
    36.  What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
    37.  Dry erase boards are remarkable.
    38.  How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

Enough already.  Even I want to kill myself reading these.