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 Page last changed 02/01/18
                           FUNNY PAPERS

Sentimental Reasons
Pine murmurs 2018

Animals have their bad days too.

What do you mean "not again"?  This is an
informative section.

      Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

    Every day a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.  
    He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.  After a week of this, the
    woman can't stand it anymore.

    She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment
    grievance against the guy.

    The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "what's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair
    smells nice?"

    “It’s Frank … The Midget”
             How to Make the World's Most Expensive Sundae

You can buy a lot of things with a thousand bucks: A sofa, a new wardrobe, a round-trip plane
ticket to an exotic land.

Or you could buy an ice cream sundae.

Serendipity 3 in New York City offers just such a dessert — Their Golden Opulence Sundae.
The sundae that the Guinness Book of World Records labeled the most expensive is created by
lining a crystal goblet (the same used by the Vatican) with edible gold leaf. Three scoops of
Tahitian vanilla ice cream, infused with fresh Madagascar vanilla bean are then draped with
more edible gold leaf and garnished with golden almonds, candied fruit, and the world's rarest,
most expensive chocolates. It's topped off with a gold-leaf orchid and passion fruit-flavored
caviar and eaten, naturally, with a solid gold spoon.

The legendary restaurant's creative director, Joe Caldrone shows us what goes into making the
world's most expensive sundae in the video above.

And if you're wondering if it tastes as good as the price tag ... Yes. Yes it does.

    See, not a burger and very informative if not down right delicious.

Some cartoon fun
                                              T​hree kick rule

    A big city lawyer went duck hunting on the Eastern Shore.  He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a
    farmer's field.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence to claim his bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and
    asked him what he was doing.

    The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.”

    The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

    The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Washington , D.C. and, if you don't let
    me retrieve that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.”

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here on The Shore.
    We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.’"

    The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule’?"

    The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first.  I kick you three
    times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and, being the person he was, decided that he
    could easily take the old codger.  He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.  His first kick planted
    the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

    His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

    The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh
    cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his
    feet.  Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.”

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
Some dogs gone bad
And to us all:  How is that diet working?
But you can't stop me from throwing this
bull at you every month.  
I love to annoy you.