Thank you for visiting the website every month. Hope I make it
worth your while. It is the site for the greatest class in history,
the class 1958, Bend Senior High school, Bend Oregon.
|BEND SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL
CLASS OF 1958 Page last changed 9/01/18
|September monthly issue
|Pine murmurs 2018
I'm not really into animal shaming, but these I thought
were kind of fun.
|It's not only 58ers that are deteriorating.
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2",
strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap
tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of
working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department. After a series of tests and
interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the
young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot.
So far, your qualifications all look good, but we have what you might call,
an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be
accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief
said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six lawyers,
six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"OK. You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
FAR SIDE Jokes-- nothing like them
|How many miles do those barbers put in?
|We're some where around here.
|What bank has been around this long?
|Steel plate for walkway. Right!
| Negative People
the hairdresser, who responded:
getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly,
and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continentals brand new planes, but it was
overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-
old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and
explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait,
the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few
words to me.."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who f#@$^d up your hair?"
| PEEING ON MY FLOWERS
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me, Officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.
"Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady.
"You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my
fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought,
'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge
clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say,
'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
OK, who in the class will step up and take this
| Chili grower defends world's hottest pepper after man who ate one was hospitalized
A chili grower defended the world’s hottest pepper called the “Carolina Reaper” following a report about a
man who was hospitalized after eating the extremely spicy fruit at a contest.
Salvatore Genovese, who grows the world’s hottest chili on his British farm, told Sky News on Sunday the
pepper needs to be “correctly” cooked and eaten to prevent health problems.
"We have sold, in the past couple of years or so, over half a million Carolina reapers and I have never had
any knowledge or any complaint of anyone having to be hospitalized,” Genovese told Sky News. "It's not
really designed to...just plonk it in your mouth and eat it…I would never do that and I wouldn't
"Just cook with it, make a curry, infuse it slowly take it out if you want to afterwards, and get the rich
flavors from that super-hot chili,” he added.
A report released last week by British Medical Journal detailed a 34-year-old man’s mistake of biting into
the so-called “Carolina Reaper” -- which led to his hospitalization. The man, who was not identified, ate
the pepper at a 2016 chili eating contest in upstate New York.
After he ingested the chili, he began dry heaving and developed intense neck and head pain that spread
from his back to his head. He also had “thunderclap” headaches, described as “a blinding pain” that would
last seconds at a time. The man was diagnosed with reversible cerebral vasoconstriction syndrome, a
temporary brain condition caused by the narrowing of blood vessels.
Genovese said the pepper should be used and eaten accordingly to prevent health issues.
"The way I always put it, is treat it like salt. You're not going to take a handful of salt and put it in your
food and say 'wow I've got a wicked salt kick'. Just use small amounts, use accordingly,” he said.
The medical report also stated this was the first time a person was hospitalized for eating a chili.
Shahina Waseem, called Britain’s “Chili Queen,” also defended eating the Carolina Reaper and said the pain
usually doesn’t last for a prolonged period — though she did admit eating the pepper makes her feel like
she’s “dying” for a bit. "You start from mild to the hottest chilies, you go through 13 or 14 rounds, and
then you end up with the Carolina Reaper and then it does get you,” she said. "For me the pain would last
an hour or two hours max. I have heard of people suffering afterwards — for me it's not so bad
afterwards, but during the competition I feel like I'm dying."
Need a couple of jokes after eating one of those.